So, Toke Makinwa our #BabyGirlForLife has been in the news lately for her alleged romance with a certain sugar daddy.
I feel enraged and I just want to find the children of this sugar daddy and land them 3 dirty slaps each because they need to be delivered them from the fog they seem to be in which has made them lose touch with reality. The reality here is that they have no business with Toke and the only person they should be calling out and dragging in the public is in fact their beloved father. The last time I checked, Toke is a single woman who has the right to date anyone she likes especially someone that allegedly appreciates her love with the best things money can buy. Who no like better thing abeg. Or did Pa Fadeyi complain that Toke is putting a gun to his throat before he makes the transfers or writes her cheques?
I’ve seen this thing play out over and over again and it’s just annoying, this is another way we shame women and make them the sacrificial lambs for the shortcomings of men. This is the same premise on which the famous husband snatcher tag that we are so apt to use is based. In this case someone took you to the altar or court of law as the case maybe and vowed to love you till death do you both apart. This same person then turns around, breaks his vow to you and starts following another woman but you are so blind or stupid or just not ready to face the reality, so you start tormenting the woman your husband is sleeping with because she was the one that vowed to love you till eternity? Was she the one who said she’ll never leave you nor forsake you? How entitled can you be?
Another issue here is how we seem to hold women to higher moral standards than we do men. So it is okay for Pa Fadeyi to allegedly want to spoil Toke Silly but woe betides Toke if she accepts because she is supposed to know better and be more morally upright? It is okay for a husband to cheat but it is the woman he cheats with that should be blamed because she should be like the Virgin Mary always? Why do we expect so much from women and so little from Men?
This same narrative is the major reason why we keep cutting men so much slack as it advances the silly notion that men are helpless in the face of sexual pleasure. We act as though men lose touch with their senses at the sight of a beautiful woman or cannot correctly coordinate themselves when madly in love with a woman. This is one of the many excuses we make for men and it is an insult to manhood but we keep on enabling this narrative and what do we get? Men who are compelled to live out this narrative and quick to make this excuse or themselves since it is acceptable after all. Ohh…but her beauty turned me into a fool, I couldn’t resist her charms, I was helpless the minute she rubbed her delicate fingers on my head and played with my beard and the instant her lips brushed mine, I became a moron. How pathetic!
Before you come at me with the morality card, have you not been having sex with your bf or gf that you are not yet married to? But you suddenly feel more morally upright than Toke abi and you can judge her. Drop the act and stop being silly, or maybe you are just thoroughly pained that someone is doing exactly the same thing you’ve been doing but the difference is you are doing yours for free abi.
What two consenting adults decide to do in the privacy of their room is none of anybody’s business, dear children of Pa Fadeyi, leave Toke alone and speak to your father please.